Moving to London can feel exciting, busy and slightly overwhelming all at once. There are new streets to learn, work or study to settle into, and a city full of people who seem to already have their own friendship groups.
If you’re one of the many Jewish young adults in London looking to meet people and build a social life, you might wonder where to begin. You may also worry that everyone else already knows one another, or that you need to be especially confident to join a new group.
You don’t.
Building a social life usually happens through small, repeated steps. It can begin with a coffee, a walk, a cinema night or a simple conversation over dinner. Here are seven common mistakes people make when settling into London, and what you can try instead.
1. Waiting for people to invite you
When you’re new to London, it’s easy to assume that friendships will happen naturally. Perhaps someone from work will invite you out. Perhaps you’ll meet people in your building. Perhaps you’ll discover a community simply by being in the city.
Sometimes that happens. Often, it takes a little more intention.
Waiting too long can leave you feeling more isolated, especially when you don’t yet know where to find people with similar interests or backgrounds.
Try this instead
Look for a regular, welcoming place where you can meet people in person. You don’t need to commit to every event. Simply choose one activity that sounds comfortable and see what you think.
Your Yedidim brings Jewish young adults aged 21–35 together through regular social events and shared experiences. You can come to a coffee morning, restaurant meet-up, walk, day out or Thursday get-together. You can also see what’s coming up and choose something that fits your week.
You can come on your own. You can stay for half an hour. You can decide later whether you’d like to come again.
2. Thinking Jewish activities in London have to be formal
“Jewish activities” can mean different things to different people. If your first thought is synagogue services or large communal events, you might decide that Jewish community life is not really for you.
But Jewish connection can also grow through shared interests and everyday experiences.
A cinema night, a games evening or a meal with new people can be just as meaningful as a more formal gathering. You don’t need to have a particular level of religious knowledge or observance to take part.
Try this instead
Look for Jewish activities in London that match the way you naturally enjoy spending time. You might prefer:
- A relaxed coffee morning
- A cinema or film night
- A games night
- A restaurant meet-up
- A walk or day out
- A seasonal or Jewish festival celebration
- A casual Thursday evening with drinks and conversation
Your Yedidim offers a variety of activities because no single type of event suits everyone. You can choose what feels right for you, whether that means a quiet conversation over coffee or a larger social gathering.
3. Going to one event and expecting instant friendships
It’s natural to hope that your first event will lead to an immediate best friend. Sometimes you click with someone straight away. More often, friendship takes a little time.
You may have a good conversation but not exchange numbers. You may attend an event where you recognise nobody. You may enjoy yourself but still feel unsure about going again.
That does not mean the event was unsuccessful.
Try this instead
Give yourself more than one opportunity to meet people. Familiarity makes social situations easier. Seeing some of the same faces at different activities can give conversations somewhere to begin.
A regular community can help. Your Yedidim was created as a place where young Jewish adults can turn up, see familiar faces and take part in shared activities. You can attend every week, come occasionally or simply choose the events that interest you.
There is no need to make a big commitment. Just try one thing, then another if it feels comfortable.
4. Assuming you need to be “Jewish enough”
You might worry that you don’t know enough, practise in a particular way or fit the usual image of a Jewish community member.
You might be religious, traditional, secular or somewhere in between. You might feel closely connected to your Jewish identity, or you might still be working out what that means to you. You may have grown up in a Jewish community, or you may be reconnecting with it now.
There is no single right way to belong.
Try this instead
Choose spaces that make room for different backgrounds and experiences. Your Yedidim is an inclusive, non-judgmental and LGBTQ+ friendly community. Jewish young adults aged 21–35 are welcome whatever their level of religious observance, denomination, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability or personal circumstances.
You don’t need to prepare an explanation of who you are before coming along. You don’t need prior knowledge. You can simply meet people, take part and be yourself.
5. Only looking for big nights out
Large events can be enjoyable, but they are not the only way to build a social life. If you only attend busy parties or one-off events, you may find it difficult to have a proper conversation.
Some people feel more comfortable in smaller groups. Others prefer activities that give them something to focus on, rather than expecting them to make conversation immediately.
Try this instead
Choose activities that make meeting people feel more natural. A board game gives you something to do together. A walk creates easy moments for conversation. A restaurant meet-up gives you time to sit with others. A cinema night can include food or a drink afterwards, if you feel like continuing the evening.
Your Yedidim’s programme includes a mix of relaxed and more lively activities. There are opportunities to talk, take part, listen, laugh and spend time with people without needing to perform socially.
If you’re unsure, start with the simplest option. You can always try something different later.
6. Letting London’s busyness take over
London is full of possibilities, but it is also full of demands. Work, commuting, errands and tiredness can easily fill your calendar.
You may keep telling yourself that you’ll look for Jewish social events next month, once things are calmer. Then another month passes.
Try this instead
Choose one manageable social activity and put it in your calendar. It does not need to be every week. A regular coffee, walk or evening gathering can give you something to look forward to without making your life feel more crowded.
It also helps to choose affordable activities. Your Yedidim works to keep events accessible so that cost does not prevent people from taking part.
Membership is free and includes invitations and updates about upcoming activities. There is also a £5/month supporting membership option, which includes a free monthly trip or activity while helping create more opportunities for the community.
You can join for free and decide later whether another option suits you.
7. Saying “we should meet up” without making a plan
You meet someone, have a good conversation and say, “We should do this again sometime.”
Then nobody messages.
This happens often, especially in a large city where people are busy and making new connections. It does not necessarily mean the other person was uninterested. The plan was simply too vague to become real.
Try this instead
Make the next step simple and specific. You could say:
- “Would you like to get coffee next Sunday?”
- “Are you coming to the next games night?”
- “I’m thinking of going to the walk next weekend. Would you like to come too?”
- “It was good meeting you. Shall we sit together at the next restaurant meet-up?”
You don’t need to turn every conversation into a friendship. Just make it easier for a promising connection to continue.
Attending a regular group can help with this too. Instead of arranging every meeting from scratch, you already have another opportunity to see people at a future event.
Finding your people can start simply
Building a social life in London does not require you to become a different person. You don’t need to be the most outgoing person in the room. You don’t need to attend everything. You don’t need to know anyone before you arrive.
You can start with one event.
Your Yedidim is a Jewish social club in London for young adults aged 21–35 who want to meet people, make friends and share experiences in a welcoming community. There are coffee mornings, cinema nights, games nights, restaurant meet-ups, walks, days out, Jewish festival celebrations and more.
Explore the events, join for free or come along and see what you think. Stay for a while. Meet a few people. Decide in your own time.
